femkes_follies: (Default)
[personal profile] femkes_follies
I'm coming to the conclusions that most of my dissatisfactions come from two things:

1. I have a stricter moral code than average. And this annoying habit of insisting that other people live up to it, too. Nor do I buy into situations where someone vies for a position of leadership and then refuses to try to lead because "it's too hard." Sorry, no. You wanted the big chair. You get to do something with it. Or I reserve the right to consider you a useless git.

2. I am a Scanner in a world designed for Deep Divers.


For me, it goes way beyond multiple interests. I can certainly function in an environment where I need to focus. But even when I was in Vet School - I couldn't stand to devote all my time to school-related things. While my classmates were signing up for Foal Team and Colic Team and volunteering in the clinics - I had a NEED to be outside that little world and doing something else for at least part of the time.

I find an interest, pursue it to proficiency, and then move on. Knit or sew the same pattern more than once? Arrrggghhhhh!!!! Where is the challenge in that? But I need to be pursuing something, always. Or I get bored, the hamster gets on the wheel and my brain just runs in circles.

I'm not sure that it's true that I'm unhappy professionally. It's that I'm like Dad watching TV. He doesn't want to see what's on. He wants to see what ELSE is on. Unfortunately, channel-flipping isn't a great career move.

Possibly, if I'm to be honest with myself, this is also part of why I was so in favor of creating a Principality. I enjoyed the process of researching the history of the region, the creation of Principalities in general, the local politics, etc. And would have been much more engaged in the SCA in general with something new to "make."

I can't wrap my head around the people who contentedly plod day after day, year after year, through the same events and activities. I don't understand why people want every event to be like every other event (and clearly they do - clever event names implying some sort of underlying theme notwithstanding). I reject the insistence that change is both impossible and undesirable. And I really reject the frozen-corpse UAW culture of the Middle Kingdom. Which is really too bad, because the SCA held a wide enough range of things for Scanner Brain to be busy for many years to come.

So, possibly, what I need is a couple of things:

1. A new social circle. Y'all are great, but mostly too far away. And the local SCA people.... yeah. No. Ditto for the Autism Moms.

2. A way to keep my little Scanner Brain occupied. What I possibly need is a list of things to pursue, in sequence or simultaneously. Fabric design, wordpress theme building, gluten-free baking, etc.

3. Other scanners to connect with. This is a toughie. A lot of people think they're true scanners and really aren't. Short attention span or ADD =/= Scanner. I can think of two other true Scanners - Dad, and [identity profile] alysten.livejournal.com.

Thoughts, advice, or suggestions?

(no subject)

Date: 2012-02-16 07:10 pm (UTC)
nonniemous: (Kill You With My Brain)
From: [personal profile] nonniemous
I'm a scanner, too, though not like I used to be. Or, I have found a career that lets me indulge my scanner, and my hobbies are finally matching up to it, too--like SCA was for you. I loved Sher's book "Refuse to Choose," and that's what finally helped me figure some things out.

One thing I have noticed is that, scanner or no, there are certain things that attract me right off the bat: history, fiber arts, and so on. I think Sher called it a cyclical scanner. Is there a fiber arts guild, or a local theater or even a local history society that could use your skills for a season? We have a local handweavers guild here that's on my list for "eventually". I also find that working at the museum helps with the scanning, because I'm always digging into something new.

Hmm...not sure any of this is really helpful, except in an "Yes, I get this!" way. Sher's book actually had some useful ideas, though she seems to live in a world where people have unlimited budgets. But I think realizing you're a scanner is half the battle. Then it's just figuring out where to point yourself.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-02-16 08:02 pm (UTC)
nonniemous: (Kill You With My Brain)
From: [personal profile] nonniemous
I think scanning goes with being gifted, really, because it takes so much to keep our brains engaged and busy. For various reasons, I've spent a lot of time learning how to take my brain "out of gear," but even then there's a restlessness to it.

I hope you're able to find some groups that work with your interests, and a way to get meaningful feedback. Most of the RL groups I'm involved with are either from my homeschooling days or my online fandom and doll people, which eventually morphed out into real life. But it takes a bit of time, sadly enough.

As for the costuming, there are groups that do serious doll costuming, way more serious than what I do.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-02-16 08:30 pm (UTC)
nonniemous: (Crones)
From: [personal profile] nonniemous
Yeah, that's what I used to say about the dolls. ;-) There are just so many creative communities in this hobby--not that they speak to each other. I'm one of the rare folks that goes between communities; most folks pick one kind of doll and stick with them. Me, I find many dolls interesting for many reasons--and I guess that means the scanning hits here, too. I find it amusing, really, the antipathy between communities, especially when so many think we're nuts anyway to still be "playing" with dolls.

And honestly, I wouldn't discount the dolls entirely until you get to handle some yourself. That seems to be the final deciding factor.

an ability to synthesize information from multiple sources into a coherent understanding that surpasses mere intelligence.

Huh. That's interesting, because my history folks, professors and fellow students alike, keep telling me that is my strength. I can take a lot of information and boil it down to succinct and understandable material. It's never seemed to me to be anything special, it's just what I see when I read/investigate things. In fact, one of the best things for me to have had to learn the last five years is to document my synthesis, instead of just announcing it.

Good luck with the list; I look forward to seeing what you come up with. IT's always fun to see what other people are exploring.

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