A stock-taking moment

[femkes_follies]

The strange thing about having the weight of the world lifted off of your shoulders is that (once you put down the margarita) you tend to stop, look around, and wonder where you go from here. Now, by no means are our problems over. But at least we don't have to worry about keeping the plates spinning with such zeal anymore.

So, having a bit of income to dispose of at Fiber Fest, I've been surfing all my favorite blogs and sites that relate to crafty goodness. In part, because the annual Pennsic lull has coincided with this, and caused my attention to drift. And wonder what I want out of life. I've had my head down, working at keeping us on the right track for so long, now that I have a chance to look up, the entire landscape of my life has changed.

Time to decide what I want. Aside from the $102 million dollar super lotto jackpot (and I'm not really sure I'd even want that). That, like a job for John, and normalcy for Anneliese are things largely beyond my control. I'm musing on what I want that I can do something about, however minor.

I do not want to own my own practice. I don't mind what I do for a living, but I don't love it, either. It pays the bills. It keeps my brain engaged. That's about it. Now, once John gets himself some gainful employment, I can cut back my hours, and spend more of my time doing what I want.

But what do I want?

There are a number of possibilities from where I sit.

1. I can continue as I am. Work, tend children, do SCA stuff with the occasional crafty moment thrown in. Wherein most of my creative output is historical/pre-1600 in nature and scope.

Or, I can decide I might have a goal past that, and at least begin to work toward it. Do I have the desire/ability to make a start? I think I'm too Craft ADD to ever be a "knitting" designer or a "quilt" designer. But I'm sort of twitching toward building a portfolio to eventually put out a book of designs for a lot of things. This is only a workable idea if I build some sort of name and reputation first.

It comes down to this - I'm a little bit burnt on the SCA lately. Possibly just tired. Possibly too much silly politics. It may be a temporary burn-out. There are still a lot of projects on my list. More that I will likely ever have the free time to indulge in under any circumstance.

Or do I re-channel some of my time, energy, and resources into building a brand as a designer. Meaning, start a new blog and be reasonably faithful about updating it. Develop patterns for items to post both there and to submit to other venues t obuild visibility. Create a name and logo under which to market such things. Generally spend time positioning myself for that eventual book - knowing that time and trends may pass me by, and that by the time I have enough material together and the wherewithal to market it - there may be no market. Quilting is less trendy than it once was. Knitting is starting to slide a bit. The whole "vintage" thing may loose it's sparkle. And these are the types of things I find appealing. I will still do SCA stuff - but likely at a lower, looser level.

Thoughts? Encouragements? Cold water?

Comments

[steelweaver.livejournal.com]

A friend of mine who was at a crossroads in her life was told to talk to people who had a job she wanted. That way, she could form a better image of the actual work, good bad and ugly. I think it's solid advice.

[femkederoas.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's probably a good plan.

I'm not really looking for a career change - just a decision in how I spend my "free" time. So, for instance, while my girls are in dance class, will I be handsewing a new pair of linen hosen to wear? Or test-knitting a design for armwarmers to sell? Etc. I'm just a little torn right now. And my free time has serious limits on it.

[landverhuizer.livejournal.com]

I'm no help as presently I feel my entire life is on hold... and it's been sucking everything in down to hobbies and stuff

no wonder I can hear past the loud slurping noise :P

[femkederoas.livejournal.com]

"this too, shall pass." Been there, done that. John and I lived separately from when we got married until he got out of the Corps (Promised to transfer him, then didn't). It gets better from here, honest.