Vehicular contusions

So.... it will cost us around $1100 to get the trucklet up and running. On three cylinders. Probably not worth it.

I wish I knew what life was going to hold in the next 6-12 months, so I knew if we should get a cheap little rice burner for my commute or a second family car. The problem I have with my life decisions is that I always make the wrong one. Not because I'm refusing to acknowledge what would be "right" but because I lack the data to foresee what decisions will be most advantageous even in a couple of months. I can't make the right decision for nuthin'.

And I have a feeling that if I ask for a sign from above, I will get this:



I can't decide whether it's more comforting to believe things happen for a reason, or that the universe is completely random.

Idle hands

ANd now here I sit, with no wheels, empty hands, a little time.... and not enough stuff to really start or work on a project. I have fabric, but didn't bring POF4 to tear a new shirt for the Hubs. I don't have a sheet of vellum and my reticella book to start a whitework coif. I don't have anything of Rori or Anneliese's to approximate size for a shift or kirtle. I don't have any yarn. Or needles.

I hate to sit still.

Please shoot me now.

Pondering....

..... is it worth taking the effort to send a politely worded message to the Kingdom Curia spelling out my issues with the concept of setting Kingdom A&S Faire permanently in a corner of the Kingdom? At a site not by any stretch an ideal venue. Knowing full well I will likely get told to sit down and quit rocking the boat.

I'm in a funk, Kingdom-wise. I twitched toward some light muslin at JoAnns the other day - contemplating making another stack of beaded veils. And decided there currently isn't anybody I care to give them to.

Basically, I'm feeling disregarded. And therefore not motivated to put effort into doing anything that isn't for me and mine.

Unless motivation feels like someone parking a couch on your chest. In which case, I'm all kinds of motivated.

A meme from alysten

So, on to the five words meme. I got these from Alesone. ;-) Leave a message if you would like five from me, to post about what those words mean to you in your own journal.

yarn - I'm a yarn addict. I don't so much knit as I collect yarn. My largest weakness are sock yarns and anything hand-dyed. It makes me feel warm, calm, and happy. On the rare occasion I finish something, it also makes me feel accomplished. Whether that's a baby hat for my little one, leg warmers for the older, or a knitted medieval hat for the hubs. Love it all. I don't do fair isle (yet). Otherwise, projects vary by mood and how much attention I want to pay to it.

animals - Yeah, I'm a vet. I make my living with animals. I'm not a card-carrying ASPCA member. And I'm certainly not a vegetarian. I like the fuzzy critters. But for the most part, I prefer to leave them at work. In fact, the longer I'm in this career, the longer my list of breeds of dog I'll never have gets. I have no desire to do ag medicine. But I want chickens. I want to raise bizarres strains of poultry. ;-) Maybe even some chinese pheasants running around. And maybe some wool breed sheep. Cormo? But at this point, I think I'd just bite the bullet and send the wool up to Stonehedge Fiber Mill for processing.

dance - OK, I will admit to a small longing for the fact that I never really got to get into dance when I was a kid - not in the finances. But I try not to fall victim to living vicariously through my girls. And it really is Anneliese who has the thang for Irish Dance. Admittedly, it's a fixation I can get behind. It's cute. It's wholesome. There is no hip-hop grinding or butt-wiggling. And it has all the satin, tiaras, and sequins a little girl could want. Plus, I like the music. So if she has the desire and ability, I will willing become a dyed-in-the-wool Feis Mom. And love every bit of it. Here's hopin'.

cooking - I do like my kitchen. Though I really prefer baking. Again, all those home-y emotions are wrapped up in the kitchen for me. I like comfort food. I like cookies, cobblers, and home baked goods of all kinds. And I like the sorts of baked goods that connect me back across the generations - speculaas, sugar cookies, etc. I did a little bit of test-baking for Peter Reinhart's new book - till I lost my head, fell behind, and haven't done much with it. But, Oh, do I want to build a wood fired oven in my backyard!!!

gardens - I am a frustrated gardener. I lack the space, the time, and the funds to do what I have in my head. I used to inflict some of my cottage garden designs on my mother, but at this point she has surpassed me. I even want to grow some barley, hops, winter wheat, and other non-floral things. The incipient design for Maison Stokesley (the Manor we intend to build after we win the SuperLotto) includes a pottager, an extended walled garden, and a landscape design that incorporates orchard, berries, bushes, hedgerows and a few small critters. Chickens. To raise. And maybe a few sheeps.

*cue Alice in Wonderland Music* - In my world cats and rabbits would reside in fancy little houses. And be dressed in shoes and hats and trousers. In a world of my own. */music*

And about as likely. But a girl can dream, can't she? That I'll someday have time for all the knitting projects. Or at least be able to afford membership in a sock yarn club without guilt. That I can have my small menagerie and Manor with all the plants I can rustle up from weird sources. That Anneliese will improve enough to be able to do normal little girl stuff. And that we can do some girls weekends, maybe at Irish Dance events. Perhaps to someday include Rori, too. Just us girlz. That I can someday cut my hours back far enough to spend more time baking.

Generally, I desire the time, income, and family to reach a state where I can work on ascension to the state of Domestic Artist. ;-) A home that contains a warm, open kitchen, a bright studio for me, spinning wheel and baskets full of wool (and cats) in front of the fireplace, square of practice dancing floor for the girls and high-energy little ones bouncing all over it, and surrounded by all the gardens and landscaping that bespeak our own little world.

Well, a girl can dream, can't she?