Social Economics

I still remember (with a certain amount of irritation) being thumb-screwed into taking Econ 201 in college. I always thought most of it was blisteringlly obvious, if not just plain sense. Supply. Demand. The distribution of limited resources. I get it from the economic perspective. If I fill the tank of my car, I probably don't have enough left over to get a candy bar, too. Choices, choices.

Only once you're on your own do you understand that the allocation of limited resources applies to everything. Acquiring one thing means not acquiring something else.

Farther along still, it has finally come home to roost that this also applies to time. The time spent making a batch of jam is time not spent sewing. Time spent at a CE meeting is time I didn't spend with my girls. And on, and on.

I realized just today that a lot of what I've been doing over the last few years (even if not consciously) is cutting loose things that eat my time and bring no benefit. Everything I do and every relationship I have is something that eats my time. So it becomes necessary to calculate (subconsciously, most of the time) the cost:benefit ratio.

Anneliese requires a lot of time, attention, energy, and emotional capital. There follows a deep-seated need to make sure Rori doesn't get shortchanged, at least by Mama. What's left, I now guard more jealously.

I've cut loose "friendships" and acquaintances that were largely a one-sided or vampiric nature. In other words, those people who always want something - but never reciprocate with so much as an ear or a shoulder. The ones who continually are in a panic over something or expect assistance with their latest plan - and are never available when I need help. People who so totally lack empathy and sense that they are more frustrating than comforting. And it's not that I've told them to go hang - I just ceased investing time into the relationship. Because, let's face it, every relationship requires effort. I've simply diverted that effort to places where it's more appreciated, returned, or at least acknowledged. And, you know what? Decline to get involved in one or two of these schemes... and all of the sudden, I don't hear from these people any more. Heaps of time and effort went into these people - time I will not get back.

This is why I left the MK Textile guild (well, one of them). It had become an obligation, and something that I invested time, effort, and passion into - that never paid back the effort. Physical contributions went to queens who 90% of the time couldn't be bothered with a thank-you note. Intellectual effort was generally repaid with argument or dismissal. The pay-off on this one: The time and energy that used to go into the Guild got rolled into my website instead. And into continued research and class development.

Which isn't to say that I won't do things for other people. Just that I'm much more choosy. Are you actually going to appreciate the effort? Will you say "thank you?" Will you be there when I need something?

Maybe this will come off as self-centered, but I'm done pouring my very limited energy and time into social lampreys. I don't feel the need to stroke fragile egos and put myself out for people who are require all kinds of extra attention just to keep them happy. They can put on their collective big girl/boy panties and deal with it. I'm not going to suck up to the dysfunctional. Go whine to somebody else. (Likely my superiors, but Oh, well. I've been chewed out over dumber things before).

And there is something vaguely lightening to the spirit to giving myself permission to blow off the trolls, rather than knuckling under to them.

Bye, Trolls!