![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
femkes_folliesYes, even though the vicodin has worn off, I'm still in a slightly snarky mood. Don't read too much into this as a barometer on my mental state or signs of dissatisfaction with anything. It's just that I do not suffer fools gladly. And I'm having fun with the metaphor. Go with it.
Since last we saw our Heroine, she has learned new things, pursued others, and is back in Wonderland. This time, at a meeting to discuss an upcoming event. Owing to Alice's growing reputation in the Ars Culinare - she has been asked to head up the Queen's Tea that HerRM has requested take place.
Alice: "Queen's Tea? I thought HerRM had a 14th century French Persona. Did they have tea?"
Venerable Yokel: "Oh, Alice. Don't be so literal. It's a Victorian tradition, and we all know the Victorians loved medieval stuff, so it's perfectly fine."
Alice: "OK, so petit fours, strawberry tarts, cucumber sandwiches, lemon cake..."
V.Y.: "No, no, no, Alice!! You are not getting into the spirit of this AT all. We picked you because of your reputation for period food! HerRM wants period foods!!"
Alice: "At a Victorian Tea?"
V.Y.: "Yes, now you're getting it!!"
Alice: "Alright, how about manchet, fresh farmhouse cheese, quince paste, pippin tartes..."
V.Y.: "Oh, and don't forget the honey butter!!"
Alice: "Um, I don't think I can document honey butter..."
V.Y.: "Alice, don't be such a stodgy cook! HerRM requested honey butter, so please provide it. Oh, and armoured turnips, too!"
Alice, it seems, has joined a jolly Caucus Race!!
The day of the event dawns bright and fair, and our Heroine's tea goes off swimmingly - honey butter and all. Alice is even complimented by the Red Queen, who is very impressed with the honey butter and turnips, though she fond the cheese and quince paste, "Not very good. Overspiced paste and bland cheese. Don't worry dear, I'll only mention your successes!" Alice cringes a bit, inwardly. Clean-up done, she swishes into the main hall to sit for a while, and whom should she see but her Very Good Friend Dinah! Dinah and Alice used to hit the local Renn Faire together, though Dinah has never been to an event before. Alice is delighted and sits down to talk with her friend. They catch up for a bit, and Dinah comments on Alice's new French gown (made in honor of the queen's visit!), and points out her own Renn Faire gown somewhat deprecatingly. Alice is quick to reassure her that she looks great. Dinah still wants to pursue making something more "work-a-day" to wear to events. But just as Alice offers to help her research and make a nice English middle class ensemble, they are interrupted by the Local Welcome Wagon.
L.W.W.: "Hello there, new M'Lady!! I couldn't help but overhear your need for new garb. Let me take you under my wing and show you the way to make a T-Tunic from a T-shirt!"
Alice: (politely) "Excuse me, but Dinah is a skilled seamstress, and I'm sure we can help her find something more authentic and more in keeping with her interests!"
L.W.W.: "Wot? Wot?? Oh!! Hello, Lady Alice. Thank you for your help, dear. But, you know, I've an Order of the Gordian Knot, and so I think I'm better suited to outfit the nOoB. When you've a GoA award of your own, then maybe we'll invite you to teach at NooComer's Nite!"
And so Dinah is dragged off to learn how to make a T-tunic whilst wearing a Tudor gown with turnback sleeves that she drafted herself.... while Alice thinks to herself that sometimes (just sometimes) 3 Letters High is a Truly Wretched Height to be....
....so it is that Alice wanders to the merchant encampment and indulges in a little Retail Therapy. After all, her nice new French gothic dress really does need a belt. With mountings!! In front of the merchant she meets with Duchess Lolly's Footman, out searching for various accessories for his Lady:
F.M.: "Hello, Alice! Have you seen a fan or gloves for the Duchess?"
Alice: "No, sorry, I was just shopping for a new belt. I thought maybe the white was pretty."
F.M.: "No, no, dear. White is reserved for Knights."
Alice: "Oh. Yes, I'd forgotten. Maybe red, then."
F.M.: "Well, dear, I don't THINK you've been squired. And recall, yellow is proteges, Green - apprentices."
Alice: "Thank you, I remember now. The blue is pretty, though!"
F.M.: "Well, are you a Man-At-Arms, dear?"
Now the merchant decides to aide our heroine.
Merchant: "Oh yes, purple is for bards, pink is students of Apprentices, lavendar is dancers, orange is archers, teal is equestrian students, magenta is for the Comedia people, dove grey is students of cadets."
Alice blinks a bit and says, "Perhaps I should just forgo the idea, then."
The merchant, realizing his sale may be retreating does have this to offer, "What about this lovely puce one, dear??"
The Footman pats her on the shoulder and suggests, "Perhaps you should go speak with Lord Cat Der Pillar. Maybe he'll have some advice."
Since it means escaping the kaleidescope of unattainable belts, Alice does indeed go visit Lord Cat. Who she finds sitting in a pile of destroyed cake, besmeared with icing and quite irate.
Alice: "Lord Cat, what happened?"
Lord Cat: "Blast it, the thing wouldn't support me AND the hooka!! One side is supposed to make you larger, while the other makes you smaller!"
Alice: "Oh, I should like that! Three letters high is such a wretched height sometimes!"
Lord Cat: "Excuse me!! I happen to be exactically three letters high, and I think it's an excellent height!"
Alice: "Your Pardon, sir! What can I do to help?"
Lord Cat: "Well, you're so smart with the food, maybe you can help me rebuild my mushroom cake so that it can hold me."
Alice investigates the mess of cake and suggests: "Well, cake alone won't do it. Rice crispie treats would have more stability. You could put those in the stalk, and you'd be OK."
Lord Cat: "No, no, no, you silly girl!! That's no way to build this thing. Did they have Rice crispies in period? Marshmallow? No?? Then certainly NOT!"
Scratching her head, our heroine tries again: "Well, we could make a period armature of wire and pasteboard, then varnish it to waterproof it, cover it with sugarpaste, paint it, and then varnish it again."
Lord Cat: "Aren't you listening, silly child?!? You must EAT one side to make you grow taller and the other side to make you smaller! Can you EAT varnish??"
With a sigh, Alice makes one final try, "Well, you could do it half each way - and only eat the rice cripsie side?"
Lord Cat: "Ah, good idea. Glad I thought of it. Though you really should go research a period, edible way to make my mushroom for me. The White Queen wants one, you know."
....to be continued?
Since last we saw our Heroine, she has learned new things, pursued others, and is back in Wonderland. This time, at a meeting to discuss an upcoming event. Owing to Alice's growing reputation in the Ars Culinare - she has been asked to head up the Queen's Tea that HerRM has requested take place.
Alice: "Queen's Tea? I thought HerRM had a 14th century French Persona. Did they have tea?"
Venerable Yokel: "Oh, Alice. Don't be so literal. It's a Victorian tradition, and we all know the Victorians loved medieval stuff, so it's perfectly fine."
Alice: "OK, so petit fours, strawberry tarts, cucumber sandwiches, lemon cake..."
V.Y.: "No, no, no, Alice!! You are not getting into the spirit of this AT all. We picked you because of your reputation for period food! HerRM wants period foods!!"
Alice: "At a Victorian Tea?"
V.Y.: "Yes, now you're getting it!!"
Alice: "Alright, how about manchet, fresh farmhouse cheese, quince paste, pippin tartes..."
V.Y.: "Oh, and don't forget the honey butter!!"
Alice: "Um, I don't think I can document honey butter..."
V.Y.: "Alice, don't be such a stodgy cook! HerRM requested honey butter, so please provide it. Oh, and armoured turnips, too!"
Alice, it seems, has joined a jolly Caucus Race!!
The day of the event dawns bright and fair, and our Heroine's tea goes off swimmingly - honey butter and all. Alice is even complimented by the Red Queen, who is very impressed with the honey butter and turnips, though she fond the cheese and quince paste, "Not very good. Overspiced paste and bland cheese. Don't worry dear, I'll only mention your successes!" Alice cringes a bit, inwardly. Clean-up done, she swishes into the main hall to sit for a while, and whom should she see but her Very Good Friend Dinah! Dinah and Alice used to hit the local Renn Faire together, though Dinah has never been to an event before. Alice is delighted and sits down to talk with her friend. They catch up for a bit, and Dinah comments on Alice's new French gown (made in honor of the queen's visit!), and points out her own Renn Faire gown somewhat deprecatingly. Alice is quick to reassure her that she looks great. Dinah still wants to pursue making something more "work-a-day" to wear to events. But just as Alice offers to help her research and make a nice English middle class ensemble, they are interrupted by the Local Welcome Wagon.
L.W.W.: "Hello there, new M'Lady!! I couldn't help but overhear your need for new garb. Let me take you under my wing and show you the way to make a T-Tunic from a T-shirt!"
Alice: (politely) "Excuse me, but Dinah is a skilled seamstress, and I'm sure we can help her find something more authentic and more in keeping with her interests!"
L.W.W.: "Wot? Wot?? Oh!! Hello, Lady Alice. Thank you for your help, dear. But, you know, I've an Order of the Gordian Knot, and so I think I'm better suited to outfit the nOoB. When you've a GoA award of your own, then maybe we'll invite you to teach at NooComer's Nite!"
And so Dinah is dragged off to learn how to make a T-tunic whilst wearing a Tudor gown with turnback sleeves that she drafted herself.... while Alice thinks to herself that sometimes (just sometimes) 3 Letters High is a Truly Wretched Height to be....
....so it is that Alice wanders to the merchant encampment and indulges in a little Retail Therapy. After all, her nice new French gothic dress really does need a belt. With mountings!! In front of the merchant she meets with Duchess Lolly's Footman, out searching for various accessories for his Lady:
F.M.: "Hello, Alice! Have you seen a fan or gloves for the Duchess?"
Alice: "No, sorry, I was just shopping for a new belt. I thought maybe the white was pretty."
F.M.: "No, no, dear. White is reserved for Knights."
Alice: "Oh. Yes, I'd forgotten. Maybe red, then."
F.M.: "Well, dear, I don't THINK you've been squired. And recall, yellow is proteges, Green - apprentices."
Alice: "Thank you, I remember now. The blue is pretty, though!"
F.M.: "Well, are you a Man-At-Arms, dear?"
Now the merchant decides to aide our heroine.
Merchant: "Oh yes, purple is for bards, pink is students of Apprentices, lavendar is dancers, orange is archers, teal is equestrian students, magenta is for the Comedia people, dove grey is students of cadets."
Alice blinks a bit and says, "Perhaps I should just forgo the idea, then."
The merchant, realizing his sale may be retreating does have this to offer, "What about this lovely puce one, dear??"
The Footman pats her on the shoulder and suggests, "Perhaps you should go speak with Lord Cat Der Pillar. Maybe he'll have some advice."
Since it means escaping the kaleidescope of unattainable belts, Alice does indeed go visit Lord Cat. Who she finds sitting in a pile of destroyed cake, besmeared with icing and quite irate.
Alice: "Lord Cat, what happened?"
Lord Cat: "Blast it, the thing wouldn't support me AND the hooka!! One side is supposed to make you larger, while the other makes you smaller!"
Alice: "Oh, I should like that! Three letters high is such a wretched height sometimes!"
Lord Cat: "Excuse me!! I happen to be exactically three letters high, and I think it's an excellent height!"
Alice: "Your Pardon, sir! What can I do to help?"
Lord Cat: "Well, you're so smart with the food, maybe you can help me rebuild my mushroom cake so that it can hold me."
Alice investigates the mess of cake and suggests: "Well, cake alone won't do it. Rice crispie treats would have more stability. You could put those in the stalk, and you'd be OK."
Lord Cat: "No, no, no, you silly girl!! That's no way to build this thing. Did they have Rice crispies in period? Marshmallow? No?? Then certainly NOT!"
Scratching her head, our heroine tries again: "Well, we could make a period armature of wire and pasteboard, then varnish it to waterproof it, cover it with sugarpaste, paint it, and then varnish it again."
Lord Cat: "Aren't you listening, silly child?!? You must EAT one side to make you grow taller and the other side to make you smaller! Can you EAT varnish??"
With a sigh, Alice makes one final try, "Well, you could do it half each way - and only eat the rice cripsie side?"
Lord Cat: "Ah, good idea. Glad I thought of it. Though you really should go research a period, edible way to make my mushroom for me. The White Queen wants one, you know."
....to be continued?