Having a Moment

[femkes_follies]

Ah, the joys of parental self-doubt. Amplified by special needs.

Today's menu:

Am I pushing her into dance class against her will, just because I want her to do it? Does she object from time to time because she doesn't like it? Or just because she'd object to anything that was somebody trying to get her to do something specific?

Would it make enough of a difference to her to try a gluten-free diet... even though she subsists off bread, toast, breaded chicken, and other wheat products? I could try some of King Arthur's GF products... though they're outrageously expensive. And it would be awfully hard to control outside the house. :-/ I don't notice any correlation at all between what she eats and how she acts. I'm pretty convinced it's not an issue for her. But sometimes it seems like it's such a part of dealing with Autism that not doing it makes you a bad Mommy.

If I could/did spend the time with her to go through all the workbooks Mom buys and all the various worksheets that are available.. would it help? Could she BE more if I tried harder.

Repeat for Rori.

>:-(

Having a Bad Momma week.

Comments

[sugarcoatedlie.livejournal.com]

I can't speak to any of the special needs issues, because I really have no experience there, but I can tell you that Lorna had the same issues with taking classes and then not always wanting to go. Especially karate. She wanted to go SO bad, but then probably 2 out of 3 classes, she'd whine and act all contrary about going and blame me for making her go. I think it's just the nature of kids to not always want to do stuff when they're supposed to... maybe it's just stubbornness?

For what it's worth, I made her keep going, and she was happy when she got her green belt. And then she felt like she was getting a little old for the class, and we talked rationally about it and agreed that it was time to quit. I think you just have to weigh how much she enjoys it during a good phase vs. how much she hates it during a bad phase. It's likely still worth it.

Also, I know that for ADD (which my boyfriend has) they recommend an experiment where you leave out certain foods for two weeks to get a baseline and then add them one at a time to see what you're reacting to. Maybe instead of switching forever, you could try gluten-free for two weeks and then add some back in and see if it makes a difference? Two weeks doesn't seem SO bad. I mean, it's only 2 weeks, right? Cause then you either know for sure that a GF diet won't work, or you're surprised to find out that it will. Either way, it'll get rid of the doubts.

And finally, every single mom I know has the same kinds of doubts about one thing or another. It always sounds to me like you're doing your best. You haven't given up on her because she might be more difficult. You take her on vacations, and make her pretty clothes, and try to find educational opportunities for her... it counts for something.

[femkederoas.livejournal.com]

Thanks. ;-) Just feeling my personality flaws tonight.

Or maybe just having one of those "lows" where it feels like her issues are my fault and I could "fix" her if only I cared/worked at it enough.

Silly, wot?