Social pressures

[femkes_follies]

I've been pondering a couple of imponderables for the last few days.

The first involves social media, and whether it is better to remove from your circle of acquaintances (which I won't use the word "friends" to describe) those people with whom you have little in common and whose own expressions normally irritate you... or to maintain them and thereby avoid creating a "bubble" in which you surround yourself with people who think only as you do - allowing yourself the fantasy that EVERYBODY thinks as you do. Mostly I ponder this in regard to a lot of the people on my FB feed who I know either solely from the SCA or solely from high school - and in neither case was the relationship more than mere acquaintance at best.

The second is wedding related. Possibly I have immersed myself in vintage writings, items, and research to the point where I am very much behind the times of what is considered "acceptable" and what isn't. Heck, when I got married it was gauche to send wedding registry cards in the invitations. I doubt anybody thinks twice about it, now. In this case, I still get a twitch about second weddings. To my mind, if you've been married before you probably shouldn't be going in for the whole white dress, twinkling candles, posh reception sort of affair. Something smaller - family and close friends, casual supper sort of thing. Is it just me? Granted, the white wedding dress doesn't symbolize what it once did, but it just seems particularly out of place when the bride's children are participating in the service.

Meh. Off to go grump about kids today in private.

Comments

Virtual social circles

[eleanor_deyeson.livejournal.com]

I leave most of the acquaintances on the feed - especially if they still amuse me at times. Only once have I "unfriended" someone. She made really offensive comments on a religious topic, and after I privately called her on it, her answer was "don't read it." (She was telling how my religion should change, by abandoning core tenets of the faith. I'd not be offended if she said my religion was stupid, or did stupid things, or if hers was better, but I just couldn't go with being told that the RELIGION should drastically change. And she couldn't see how that was offensive. I've never made any comments about her religion, which I don't believe in, or even believe has a valid basis, and only wanted the same courtesy.)
I do agree that living in a bubble is not the best idea. But if the people with divergent opinions have bad grammar or are never entertaining, and you don't interact in real life, maybe they can go.

Re: Virtual social circles

[femkes_follies]

And I <3 you for including "have bad grammar" in that one.

*gigglesnort*

[luscious_purple]

I've probably been unfriended more than I've done the unfriending. A lot of my LJ friends have vanished from the site, and even though I have 450 or so Facebook friends, so many of them post so rarely that I don't worry whether they are "friends" or not.

As far as the second wedding goes ... I think a lot of it depends on what the first wedding was all about. If the first wedding was an elopement or "shotgun" wedding, and there wasn't much of a celebration and no fancy dress, and now the couple can afford a nice shindig, then more power to them. But if the bride and her family unleashed the full power of the wedding-industrial complex the first time around, then, yeah, she should have less of a production the second time around. I also think that the marrying couple should pay for the second wedding themselves, no matter how crappy or cheap the first wedding was.

[femkes_follies]

I was thinking more along the lines of couples where one or both is previously divorced. I agree, that if there was a quickie wedding and the couple wants to throw a larger celebration later, fine. (Though I'd expect just a reception - not a second wedding). But if you've been married before, it's just gauche.

I feel the same way about "renewal of vows" ceremonies. They make me cringe.